I am grateful to count Gustavo Arellano and Delilah Snell amongst my close friends. He is an incredibly prodigious journalist, now at the LA Times and she is a master preserver and community activist centered in her store and restaurant Alta Baja in Santa Ana, CA. So I wasn’t surprised to receive a dinner invite from them to celebrate Delilah’s birthday. What was surprising was that this dinner was billed as Gustavo’s “Pasta a la Panza,” a multi-course dinner in honor of his wife. For many couples this may not have been a surprise but Gustavo never cooks, like never. I was intrigued. Delilah was joking that maybe I should bring something to eat since she had no idea what the result of Gustavo’s effort was going to be. She shouldn’t have worried. I can’t remember the last time I had such fun and experienced food in such an unencumbered way. There were no expectations and therefore no disappointment, only surprise.
Apparently Gustavo had been taking notes from when Delilah went on a solo vacation to Turkey and left him to fend for himself. This menu was a list of his successes/discoveries. We were each presented with a handwritten menu. As you can imagine, as we started reading the menu laughter erupted. This was the theme of the evening.
We began with seeds from Zacatecas, Gustavo’s family home state in Mexico. The little blue grey seeds were a revelation. Fellow guest, Carlos Salgado, chef-owner of Taco Maria became immediately obsessed. Quesadillas in any form are always welcome. These were no exception.
It was with the 2nd Course that the hilarity hit its peak. The balls it took to serve Carlos “Best instant miso soup from Mitsuwa, Miko Brand.” But you know what? We were eating outside, it was a cool evening and we all slurped down that instant soup served in paper cups. I love how the choice told how Gustavo tasted a few brands of instant soup while his spouse was away. I imagine him taking comfort from it.
The main course was the eagerly awaited Pasta ala Panza, Trader Joe’s farfalle dressed with a sauce that was equal parts Bueno Hatch Autumn Roast Salsa and Trader Joe’s basic marinara. We each took seconds (some of us thirds). We discovered that an antipasti of spicy, olives, anchovies and garlic with citrus zest brought by one of the guests enhanced the pasta in just the right way.
As a person who spends an entire day canning her own tomato sauce for the year (with friends) it was good to be reminded that there is nothing wrong with bought sauce, especially with the introduction of Hatch chiles. Then we came to dessert, a bar of Fervi Chocolate from Jerez, Zacatecas that we all shared. Fervi was created by Gustavo’s great grandfather “Papa Sabas”. And legend has it that the woman on the label was his mistress!. It was delicious as an eating chocolate with a satisfying textural crumble and spice profile.
A few things struck me about the evening.
The absolute lack of pretense or preening of the cook which set the tone for the evening.
The joyful acceptance of the guests of each course even while we made fun (playfully) of what was offered.
The emotional generosity flowing from host/cook to guests and back.
How much we all enjoyed being fed, especially those of us who are accustomed to doing the feeding.
How ridiculous it is to stress over what to feed guests. When hospitality is a performance, it’s not hospitable.
I loved this story! I also loved reading your note "How ridiculous it is to stress over what to feed guests. When hospitality is a performance, it’s not hospitable." We have a bunch of foodie friends that we never want to have over because we just cannot cook. Maybe I will grow a pair and invite them over ;)
Thank You and Yes, “*Foodies” come down off our thrones...it’s only the love that matters.
*whatever that is